Sasuke's Thoughts
by Mirror and Image
Summary: Complete Stream of consciousness after the attack on Konoha where Sasuke reflects on Team 7 and how they've changed.


**Sasuke's Thoughts**  
Mirror and Image

Sasuke leaned back, looking up through the dawn's mist to the silver-tinged sky above. It had been almost a month since Orochimaru's attack on Konoha and the loss of the Sandaime. Almost a month since he had faced Gaara and lost horribly, while Naruto, the dobe, had just barely won. Almost a month. Konoha was healing. Buildings were being fixed, the dead had been buried, life was returning to normal.

Despite having learned Kakashi's ultimate attack, the Chidori, Sasuke still waited untold hours for his sensei to show up and teach him more. Kakashi was the only Sharingan user left, so Sasuke continued to train under him. The man was lazy, late, and a loner, but Sasuke had developed a deep respect for his sensei that he would probably never admit to anyone. Granted, that respect had been hard to create, given his initial impressions back when he'd first met the famed Kakashi. The Jounin seemed so inept at first, though that bell test had shown that there was indeed skill behind that lazy mask. Sasuke had been certain that he'd been given the absolute worst team and the most idiotic sensei ever. There were moments when he still felt that Kakashi was a fool, but that was usually annoyance pervading his contemplations.

No, Kakashi was definitely no fool. After spending a day with him and then seeing the man fight, one quickly realized that the lazy persona was used as another ninja tool to hide his skill. The mission with the bridge builder had taught Sasuke that. Kakashi was indeed a competent fighter, worthy of the Jounin rank and probably more. His one eye was always watching, always seeing, and his mind was always analyzing. Because of it, Kakashi was a much stricter teacher than Sasuke had ever had. All the sensei at the academy were supportive to the point of molly-coddling. They set the bar within reach and pushed you towards it. Kakashi, by contrast, set the bar out of your reach and gave you hints on how to make yourself reach it. Almost everything that Kakashi said or did when in "training" was a lesson. Some of it was a direct patient explanation of the whys and hows. But that type of explanation usually came after grueling experimentation on trying to even figure out the question, let alone the why and how to achieve it.

Sasuke, Naruto and Sakura had faced many such lessons, both on the mission with the bridge builder and on all the petty C and D rank missions in their rush to prepare for the Chuunin exams. It was in those lessons that Sasuke saw why Kakashi had never had a team before. The masked Jounin hadn't simply wanted to remain on Jounin level assignments as rumor had it. Oh no, Kakashi wanted students, but until Sasuke's team, he hadn't found a team worth training.

But discerning that was usually close to impossible with Kakashi's usual I'm-not-listening-nor-do-I-care façade. Sasuke snorted. As irritating as it was, Sasuke was privately glad that his sensei was always late. At first it was annoying. After all Sasuke was the academy's greatest student, first in his class, though that was usually a tie with Sakura. When Sasuke was told to do something, he did it and then some. Get five kunai in the target? Sasuke would throw ten and get them all dead center. Sasuke strived to excel so that he had the skills he would need to fulfill his goals in life. So always being early when Kakashi was always late was like mixing fire and ice. But Sasuke had come to enjoy the quiet while waiting for his tardy sensei. It was a time to think, reflect and prepare for the day. A chance to order thoughts and, though he would never admit it, enjoy time with his teammates.

His teammates were also people that he had a hard time adjusting to. Naruto was dead last in their class and couldn't even fight off his fear when they first faced enemies while accompanying the bridge-builder. He had been a useless kid who showed no talent or even aptitude for being a ninja. But it was that dobe who had beaten Gaara. Here was Sasuke, always excelling at everything he ever put his mind to, and the dead-last loser of his entire class had gotten more powerful than he'd ever imagined in just a few short months.

It hurt.

But Sasuke didn't dwell on that. Naruto had his own demons to face, after all. Sasuke wasn't blind. Growing up, he'd seen how Naruto was treated. He'd seen adults shun him and watched their children follow the example. Sasuke had always thought the children were stupid for following their parent's example without any explanations. Sasuke himself would relish the opportunity to sit down and discuss things with his parents. Instead he watched parents and adults ignore Naruto, talk about him where Naruto could hear, call him names and all around ostracize him. Sasuke had found it very immature.

If anyone had ever heard Sasuke's thoughts on that, they'd wonder why he always called him "dobe". Well that was easy, because Sasuke had seen Naruto in class. There was a damn good reason why he'd been dead last. Kakashi had aptly dubbed Naruto the village's Number One Hyperactive Knuckleheaded Ninja. Logic was a foreign concept for his blond teammate. Yes, he knew the basics of fighting, but he knew nothing of chakra, strategy, or even courage it had seemed. Naruto could argue, pull pranks, and make passionate declarations, but be an effective ninja? Please. In their fist taste of battle, Naruto had completely faltered. Even Sakura had been able to move and take position, despite the fact that she was petrified. Naruto, instead, and just sat there, terrified. "Dobe" was never a more accurate moniker.

It hadn't mattered what the adults of the village had said. Naruto was a dobe because he was useless. He failed his lessons, how he'd passed at the academy was something that was a mystery, and couldn't even fight in battle. After such a spectacular failure, Naruto had made some sort of blood oath to himself, another of his passionate declarations, and suddenly, he was no longer useless. He'd come up with a (bizarre) ingenious plan to free Kakashi from Zabuza's water imprisonment. Of course, Sasuke would never admit that. (And if it wasn't the fact that they were in the heat of battle, Sasuke was certain that Kakashi let himself get caught just to see what his students could do. Sasuke's sensei was sneaky like that…)

Suddenly, Naruto was a competent, if weak, fighter. Suddenly, Sasuke had competition with this bumbling blond idiot. He'd had to swallow his pride and ask the dobe for the tips that Sakura had given to help him with his chakra control. Naruto was still an idiot, charging into Haku's mirror trap without realizing that he was pulling them both into trouble, but when put in a desperate situation, Naruto could perform and perform well. It was the start of Sasuke's never-admitted jealousy. Naruto didn't give a damn about chances or odds. He was in it to win, plain and simple. He was going to fulfill his dream of becoming Hokage. Sasuke could relate on that level. Sasuke was going to fulfill his dream of killing his brother and restoring his clan.

Naruto seemed to vacillate after that. One moment, the blond dobe was a stumbling imbecile, the other; he was a competent ninja worthy of respect. As embarrassed of Naruto's idiocy as Sasuke could be, he had grown to respect Naurto's moments to shine. It wasn't the same respect he had for Kakashi, but there was something in Naruto to be admired. Sasuke would never admit this of course. Instead, he satisfied himself with competing with his teammate, pushing each other's limits and bringing out Naruto's worthy moments. Reminding Sasuke that Naruto was worthy of his respect, no matter how he sometimes acted.

Like it or not, Naruto had grown on Sasuke. He suspected that if anyone bothered to try to get to know the dobe, he'd grow on them as well. Adults could be idiots sometimes. And children who followed adults blindly were worse.

In the beginning, Sakura had been like everyone else. She put down Naruto because he as supposed to be put down. She studied hard like a student was supposed to. She "loved" Sasuke like every other girl in the village. (Why was he cursed with that??) She may have been the only other student to rival him in grades, but she was useless in any other aspect with her fangirl and follow-the-crowd tendencies. If he said something, she'd agree with it, no matter what. Blind sheep. A smart but painfully average ninja.

However, lately Sasuke had seen a change in her. Initially, when facing off with Zabuza and Haku, Sakura had stayed by the bridge-builder like she was supposed to, crying out and calling to her teammates like a fool. She showed her emotions far too much. Sasuke had far too many senbon in his body and was soar, but he awoke to her extra weight pressing into his tender ribs. She had been so relieved to see that he was alive and well, Sasuke had to pause. Was this because this was the closest any of them had come to death or was it because she honestly cared for him more than the fangirl tendencies she normally had? He wasn't sure, but she cared for him either way, that was certain.

She still clung to whatever he said and pestered him, so he ignored what had happened and classified it as an anomaly. She was just far too open with herself. It was, Sasuke was certain, going to get her killed. The same way letting his emotions rule him had let Itachi get away with killing his clan. The C- and D-rank missions they went on prior to the Chuunin exams were hardly a testimony to her skills, if she had any beyond what an average ninja could do. Still, Sasuke wasn't blind. And through her fangirl obsession of trying to spend time with him, he noticed that she had a better aptitude with genjutsu than he or Naruto had.

When he'd complimented her on it, he was pleasantly surprised that she didn't bow and kiss his feet or jump onto him proclaiming her love and how he must match her feelings. Instead, they just continued on to the Chuunin exams. Perhaps that was the first change in her. The bridge-builder's battle had shaken out her childishness for at least a brief moment. Sasuke prayed that this trend would continue. Her pestering ways were so annoying.

In the Forrest of Death (who on earth had come up with that name?) Sakura was competent and far less clingy, for which Sasuke praised whatever gods were looking out for him. Until they had faced him. Orochimaru. Sakura was paralyzed just as he was. It wasn't really a surprise that she couldn't break Orochimaru's hold when he could; she was just an average ninja after all. But she was all he had at the moment, and they needed to work together to get the hell away from that snake bastard. She had, unsurprisingly, been useless in the fight. Like it or not, the snake had marked him and he'd passed out from the pain.

He knew that Sakura had tended to both him and Naruto. He knew that she had fought the Sound ninja and had her hair sliced during the battle. But those moments when he had awakened were blurry. Sasuke had a very clear image in his memory of Sakura on a Sound ninja, kunai in one enemy's shoulder, teeth around the other, as her head was repeatedly struck. He had another clear memory of Sakura, bloody and beaten, declaring how she would defend her teammates. And of course, he remembered her hugging him from behind, pleading. Memories after that were much clearer.

Sasuke conceded that something had changed. Sakura's clingy factor had dropped considerably to the point where he almost (only almost) missed it. Naruto had told him that her fight with Ino had been an amazing site to behold, but Sasuke had been in the infirmary for that battle. The next time he saw her, he was prostrate in front of Gaara and she held her position to defend him. Unlike with the bridge-builder, there was absolutely no fear. This was when the difference was most shocking for Sasuke. Sakura had changed and he wasn't entirely sure how.

As much as he'd been fascinated with the idea of his teammate having the same potential as Naruto seemed to possess, it appeared that he'd misjudged, since Sakura was slammed into a tree and knocked unconscious, whispering their names. Their names, not just Sasuke's. It seemed that Sakura had found some sort of redeeming quality in her blond teammate, for she was imitating his determination. It hadn't done her much good, but she was no longer just tagging after Sasuke. She'd appeared to have found it in her heart to accept Naruto as well.

Sasuke's teammates were growing, and Sasuke wasn't all that sure that he was. Even after the battle with Gaara, Sakura merely blinked when she was told that it was Naruto who had ultimately saved her life and smiled softly, commenting on how he'd grown. On some level, he wondered how Sakura would be in a battle. Was she really as weak as she'd continuously shown? There was something in her that seemed underdeveloped, something that was only just starting to get attention. Would she still be the damsel in distress or would she finally be able to hold her own?

Snorting again, Sasuke shook his head. Her abilities were her own concern. Naruto's abilities were his own concern. Sasuke strived to continue to improve his own abilities by his continual training under Kakashi and Naruto seemed to have found a tutor to improve himself as well. Sasuke had yet to see Sakura go through the rigor that he and Naruto had. She would ultimately still be useless in a battle as she had been in every fight he'd seen her in. Her uses were more for genjutsu and spywork. Fighting was too far above her.

Outside of missions, however, her restraint with him was refreshing. The same way she had come to see Naruto as a person beyond what the village talked about, she had finally seen him beyond whatever it was that girls found so attractive. (Praise be.) There was no doubt that she still was interested, but it wasn't the fangirl obsession he avoided like the plague. Naruto was still a dobe when outside of a fight, but for all his loud proclamations, he maintained his determination through and through, like Sasuke did for his own goals. Kakashi was a good mentor to have, flaws and eccentricities included.

Sasuke should really count his blessings on things. There were people in his life that he cared for and wished to protect. But try as he might, his brother was still looming over him, laughing. Sasuke would have to train harder than ever to be even close to Itachi's level of skill. He'd finally seen what powerhouses could do. He'd heard of the battle between Orochimaru and the Sandaime. He'd seen Naruto and Gaara go at it at a level Sasuke hadn't even known existed. So Sasuke had to get stronger and push his limits.

Blinking, Sasuke looked up at the sky again. It was nearly midmorning now, he'd spent a good chunk of the day pondering and revisiting. While it was a pastime he was fond of, Kakashi was even later than usual. Sighing, he got up and brushed off his shorts. Sasuke would start looking at Kakashi's apartment.

Little did he know that three Jounin would be there looking after his unconscious teacher.

**The End**

**Author's Notes**: Okay, this took longer to write than expected. (Much longer... Damn you Naruto, you're hard to properly analyze for some bizarre reason...) We see here some of the reasons starting to bloom on why Sasuke will ultimately leave Konoha. He's not really acknowledging them yet, but they exist and are starting to gnaw at him. We fully believe that Sasuke does not love Sakura when he leaves, but that when he returns and has matured, he will. Similarly, Sakura at this point will no doubt care for him and possibly even love him, but she doesn't really know him enough to love him completely. Sasuke's just not that open. It's so often in fanfiction that we see Sasuke so very out of character that we thought we'd try to at least get in his head. We can see some of his arrogance here, but bear in mind, he's basing everything off of what he knows. He hadn't really seen Sakura fight, so she's still going to be viewed as "annoying". Kakashi is someone that he's spending just about every day with, so his views of his sensei are a bit more accurate than that of Naruto or Sakura. (Plus, Sakura keeps a lot hidden with her Inner Sakura, so she's not entirely honest with everything.) If anything, Sasuke and Naruto probably have some of the more thorough understanding of each other. Kakashi can probably read Sasuke like a book, but Kakashi's too evasive for it to be visa versa.

So. This is how we see things. Any recommendations of good SasuSaku fics with both in character? Or any good Kakashi fics where he's in character and being a good teacher?


End file.
